Ask Reddit knows how hilarious some lovers can play when they want to appear tough.

1 . I examine a lot of busters that brag about how many hours they work in a period or week. Guys that are like” yeah I directed 20 out of 24 hours yesterday and only got two hours of sleep “.

Like … sorry that you have poor work/ life counterbalance and hour conduct skills? How are you expecting me to react?

2 . Make amusing of the road I take my coffee.

I hate the poisonous shit where unless you suck it black, you’re not a real man .

Like BITCH I’LL DRINK IT HOW EVER I DAMN WELL LIKE!

3 . Pee super powerfully directly into the water, so that the lesser males know how strong my stream is.

4 . I’m 5’9” and 170 lbs and for some reason chaps taller or larger than me feel the need to call me “big guy” in a denigrate course. I find it so odd, I’ve done nothing to you and am neither excessively big or great and hitherto you feel the need to try and take shots at my size.

Shits bizarre and I now perceive you as insecure.

5 . One guy I know tried to get everyone to whip out their cocks and equate lengths, and honestly it comes down across as one of the most insecure and childish efforts to assert dominance ever. Because dick sizing got nothing to do with dominance.

6. Was out having a drink. Started chatting to the guy next to me when I learn he, more, is a musician. He then tells me:” You’re not a musician. I find it offensive when people tell me they’re a musician when they haven’t put in the time and dedication that I have .” Ok dude come down off your ego trip, christ.

7. I had someone stand on their tippy toes to seem taller when we where talking.

8. When asked about what his hobbies are, he responded with” Hobby are for children and single girls. I use .”

9. Was on a 4 hour flight. In a 2 being row. The guy demanded to have full access to the middle armrest. Would propagandize my forearm off it if I ever get near it.

10 . We formerly had a candidate come into the interview and legit say he wanted to sit behind the desk because he was going to be asking the questions to decide if he wanted to work with us. I think he’d goes some bad advice about having confidence. I chuckled but our HR manager flung her shit. The only period I have ever seen her call security.

11. One time at a house party, a few of us were talking to some of the girls there and one of the guys haphazardly started talking about how he does MMA, then another guy was engaged in and those 2 started battling in front of the girls. I don’t imagine their shirts needed to come off either but what the hell is do I know…

12. I used to tend bar in Milwaukee, and there is nothing that triggers self-conscious weiners more than seeing someone sucking something they don’t like. I cannot tell you how many disputes began with some dude- always unsolicited/ unprovoked, mind you- feeling compelled to judge and “educate” other people about what they’re imbibe( or not drinking ).

” You drinking that piss, you pussy ?” and it goes downhill from there.

No one cares. Drink what you like and shut up.

13. Generally guys purposely bumping into you when you walk past them, especially if they’re with friends.

14. My neighbor in front of my( I’m a person) house had a boyfriend that would literally rip his shirt off and come outside every single time I was in my figurehead yard. It is likely to be 7 AM or Midnight but it wouldn’t matter to him. I could be walking to my auto and now comes Mr. Globogym flexing all around his yard. He would immediately go back inside when I went back inside. This gone on for almost half a year until one day I considered him hop-skip into his mega hoisted truck and drive away never to be seen again. He did have pretty sweet pecs though.

15. The very firm handshake is always annoying. I’m not a monstrosity support of strong but I have a good enough clutch that I can get them to back off.

16. The parties that try to act like a psychological genius and try to analyze you and figure out what kind of person you are. My friend’s dad does this constantly with me and misses the mark every time and it only meets him looks just like a dumbass.

17. Recently got my first tattoo. It’s a small, minimalistic one. A chap at “states parties ” hinders making fun of it when I shed the ball in beer pong as it’s on my fucking arm I use to throw. Reason he’s making fun of it is his arm is fitted with big-hearted, detailed tattoos. He clearly felt I was somehow inferior due to my small-scale tattoo. Didn’t vex me too much, but that, along with other shit he’d brag about, reassured me he’s not a person worth hold a damn about.

18. When I was on a trip to Iceland my friends and I were out sucking at the bars and I met a neighbourhood chap outside and as we were talking he deterred trying to get close enough to me so he had been able to employ his hoof on my hoof. The first time he did it I precisely thought it was accidental. Then I could see it was what he was trying to do. I ceased up telling the dude to fuck off and the situation de-escalated from there. Other regional guys told me after that it’s a thing they do there in Iceland to show dominance/ start campaigns with tourists.

19 . A guy was mad at me while sitting at a glowing and was revving his machine. It chimed like He braced it at the blood-red indication, and there was a big crack sound and smoke started coming out of the front Of his car.

The dummy blew his engine.

20. Total bro around you and your friends. But the second there’s a girl there all of a sudden they try to impress them by shitting on the gang.

21. I had a guy yell at me at a disallow where reference is over heard me saying I was 6′ 2 to a friend. He claimed he was measured at the NFL combine at 6′ 0. we were the same altitude. He time restrained hollering” I’m 6 paw, I’m 6 foot, bitch” at me. I’m legit 6′ 2 but this guy was just not having it. Like dude, why are you selling yourself 2 inches short-lived? It was such an strange and unprompted interaction.

22. Talked about the MBA program at his Alma mater was superior to where I was get my MBA.

For clarification, he doesn’t have and isn’t working on an MBA, but wanted to be sure I knew he was better because he went to a school with a recognized better program.

23. Not letting extend of a handshake. It’s happened a few durations and always meet me wanna receiving treatment as a hostile action. Last go it happened I only started caressing their paw with my finger and the guy yanked away. I winked at him after.

24. I was accompanying to my automobile after clas and this chap getting in his automobile only shrieks at me” you ugly af, bro .” I threw him off without even looking at him and he squealed “bitch!” and drove off. How inessential do you have to be to tell someone sentiment their own business that they’re ugly?

25. Earlier this year my boss asked a question to do something, and then leaned over me and said,” You are going to do it .” He was like, literally bending over me because he was 6′ 8 ”. Dude played like a cliche “schools ” bully from an 80 s movie and was like 40 years old so I presume he was at some phase. Anyways he quit

26. I’m not a fan of the shoulder handle. If it’s a close friend giving advice, it’s reassuring. But if it’s someone trying to assert some preeminence and does the shoulder suggestion in an attempt to be friendly , no buster. Every person who’s done that is trying to sell me on something and I HATE being hustled. One party I drove alongside with( more like he was a brother to the owner) are endeavouring to do that with your best friend and I. He was a burly dude, load lifter, but was always trying to get us involved in the company and persuading us that doing things for free would help build the company which will further lead to future income. No, dude. I’d smile and sign and be affable. But we parted methods shortly after because I know my merit and Zero Dollars is not how i’d like my checks signed, thankyouverymuch.

27. Challenge me to fight over a girl.

Yeah man, that’s how the present working. You can totally “win” a girl in a fight.

28. A friend tried to spawn himself gaze good in front of his humble by literally putting me in a random choke hold” for a laugh “. Turns out it was because I spoke to her( I had a girlfriend at the time, we were just talking ).

It wasn’t a choke hold though, it was basically precisely a headlock, so I decided to correct him. I was fairly oblivious and didn’t realise this was a disappointed “alpha move”.

Creeped the shit out of his quash that he would do that out of no-where and she stopped talking to him. Apparently she relatively liked him up until that phase, so he kinda shot himself in the foot.

29. This guy from part gave me a hoist which was decent, but he had a chip on his shoulder about it. He put on the child locks, I couldn’t get out.

So he came around to let me out of the back, and I came out and trod off, didn’t close the door I let him get it on like a chauffeur.

30. Just shove me out of nowhere without perfectly no context whatsoever. Basically, “schools ” all over again.

31 . My best girl friend’s boyfriend, who is 100% wary/ is a threat to how close I am to her, will constantly try to one-up me in gossip whenever I am speaking to her. He preserves an look on me the whole time that I’m with her and as soon as I make a joke or tell a story, he jump-start right in with his own thing to try and top what I said. Like, Every. Single. Time. That I speak.

Oh, that and he’ll roll up his sleeves and sit with his joints on the table in a not-so-subtle effort to compare his biceps to mine.

32. Was at “states parties ” and was given the task of handing out brews to beings. This chap threw a shit, screaming saying he only alcohol REAL beer.

Dude, it was cold and free, that is the best brew there is.

33. The guys that start a lot of their sentences with” Only real gentlemen …”.

We were drinking in a inn and after ascertaining I was drinking Guinness must be given to be said that” Only real servicemen suck whiskey “.

34. A friend of mine would be preoccupied about stimulating sure his expres chimed late enough when talking to others.

35. Mocked me on Facebook when I affixed an image of my brand-new auto for buying a Lexus IS2 50 and not something faster and more powerful.

He drives a 15 time old Jetta.

36. I don’t know if it was definitely preeminence affirm or misplaced courtesy, but my SO and I got a deal where I encompass all the other statements in the house as long as she deals menu and does more duties. We both came to that agreement, it merely wreaks easiest. That includes shielding ingesting out to a acceptable sum, and then I’ll chip in. So we’re just getting some BK I reckon and the chap at the cross-file learnt that my SO was about to pay, so he said ” No, he offer” probably presuming I was some deadbeat or something. Instead of putting up a fuss, I exactly clothed the $10 or whatever it cost.

37. When I was in the military during our PT exams there was a ” max ” for everything, so formerly you touched the magical max digit there really is no reason for going on. I always had to PT test the same time as my supervisor who was more physically fit than me so when it came time to test he would always go beyond the max number unlike me, who would smacked the multitude and just stop because there was no point. After every exam stage, he would get up and yell at me for not” establishing it my all” but I would just look at him and asked about what the point was. He concluded me go to my commander and explain myself, I think he was hoping I would get in perturb, but luckily my captain understood there was no point is “going beyond” when you hit the max number.

Really stupid.

38. In college, we were having a conversation about which swine we meditated closely parallelled our temperaments. One chap was a psych major, one of those that weaponize Psychology by trying to psychoanalyze strangers and all that substance. So he said he was probably a lion, and then would say everyone else were like hippos or manatees or other ugly-looking fat animals. Seemed a bit transparent to me but I think he really thought he was getting apart with some subversive psych trick.

39. Threatened to beat me up if I so much as look at his sweetheart again. His lover was my sister.

I maintained attention contact whilst chuckling, as she dumped him on the spot.

40. In college, I got into an elevator and was followed in by a younger chap I didn’t know. He saw my( fairly standard in every nature) backpack and said “My backpack is lane bigger than yours.”

Fair enough, he had a military, jumbo multitude. Could’ve easily gone on a hike/ tent with it. I smiled and concurred, but he retained talking about how really big his was and how he couldn’t fit anything into one like mine.

“Weird flex” as the teenagers say.

41. That one guy who refuses to walk on the chasten side of the dorm/ alley/ aisle/ etc. Like, do you drive on the wrong side of the road, extremely?

42. Once when I was treading on a street a person was strolling behind me and started to walk faster so he could pass me. I didn’t care but then he merely looked at me straight-from-the-shoulder in the eyes and saunters into a tree.

43. Playing a game of kitty at a barroom for a beer, dude missed an easy hit and broke the cue stick on his knee. He then goes in my face to try to intimidate me, I just simple tell him, Look dude you are at a locals bar.”

He shut up and left after that. Dummy.

44. Had a buster get mad at me for” talking to his girlfriend all the time .”

I was her Econ tutor.

45. I was standing in the breezeway outside a friend’s apartment while in college, and a guy coming down the stairs from an upper floor kinda tripped near the bottom of the stairs and stumbled into me. It was clear he super stoned and immediately got aggressive. He was so worked up about being tougher than me for some reason that he started doing push up at me while me and my friends simply laughed.

Fortunately his friends came and apologized and took him back up stairs, but it was unquestionably the most bizarre assertion of dominance I’ve ever encountered.

46. I work in a grocery store and sometimes help dump the delivery trucks and our bringing comes in on what we call encloses, like a 6 foot enclosure on wheels and obviously one that’s full of toilet paper will be really light-headed and one filled with 2 litre bottles of liquid are the heavy ones. The lift that lowers them from the truck has that patterned metal flooring and you have to pull the ponderous encloses hard to get them off , now Im 5′ 8 ” and don’t have a lot of force on me but I can draw these encloses off just fine but there’s a chap who’s like 6′ 2 ” and is always trying to show how strong he is, so whenever Im helping and he’s there he ever demands he gets the ponderous encloses and that I get the” little guy enclosures “. Everyone concurs he needs to grow up.

47. A former coworker. He would just stand in the way and refuse to move. Even if he wasn’t in the course he would purposely get in the way. I work in a narrow kitchen so you can imagine how irking that could be.

At one particular moment I was carrying a bulky 20 lbs chest and he decided to do that. I pretended to not investigate him and barreled into him. He fell over and got improbably mad at me. Started talking about how I have no muscle. It was pretty funny.

It was a display of the most fragile manlines I’ve ever seen.

48. In jr high-pitched I remember this one bully that would get on his tip-off toes and bow out his dresser like a gorilla and get all in your face whenever he felt warned. It was such a funny stereotype maneuver.

49. Worked as a lifeguard at a summer camp years ago. During safety training we had to do a matter of missing persons scour which required all available staff to join hands and march from the beach to into the water as far as we could while feeling with our feet for the missing swimmer.( During grooming there was a sandbag we had to find .)

The guy next to me kept insisting on holding mine in a certain way because “* I* will take the upper hand in this situation ,” said at me while looking me down. Whatever, dude. We’re theoretically looking for a drowned babe right now.

50. He tried to drink water faster than me.

No one alcohols water faster than me.

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