It’s happening. Your best friend swiped right, gather those special people, had blackout bachelorette gatherings, astounding bridals, and are adjudicated down in a nice accommodation or house they’ll never paid for. Moving on up, guys.
You expected that, precisely maybe, they would adopt a cluster of dogs and be your imbibe buddies forever. But, lo and behold, your best friend precisely texted you with her amazing report. She’s got a bun in the oven. She’s eating for two. She’s gonna need bigger clothes. She’s f* cking pregnant.
There are a clear set of estimations that go through your judgment formerly your friend tells you she’s pregnant–and, to be 100% clear, you probably shouldn’t vocalize any of them. It’s an exciting, scary, and f* cking curious experience for you, her, and her spouse. Embrace the strange.
But, like in those medication infomercials, there is hope. You are not alone. Many of us will find out a friend is pregnant at some place in “peoples lives”, and go through the associated emotional rollercoaster. Like, of course I am happy for you, but I’m also sad for me! Right? You’re not a horrible being for considering it. We all do. So in its endeavour to constitute you feel like you’re not a shocking person, here are the conceives we all have when a friend tells you she’s pregnant.
1.” There Becomes My Drinking Bud”
Who’s going to pound Fireball kills and then help me Uber home? How will I discuss my drunken one nighters with a child present? Will it wear earmuffs? Who’s going to take care of me and make sure there isn’t stranger danger lurking at that funny club I affection going to but, honestly, also constitutes reasonably sketched out by? Apparently I have to grow up now, more, which is v not chill. V.
2.” I’ve Seen Her Blackout”
I watched this daughter fell off the dance flooring, get up( whisker slicked back in a mix of sweat and booze ), fart, clear the dance floor, then chug two more films before throwing up on a historic church and blacking out in a cab. You’re telling me this wild b* tch is going to handle a newborn?
Godspeed, friend. You’re going to need it. Too, good luck on not drinking for nine months. I’ll hurl a few cases back for ya. Then again, newborns are like tiny booze parties, soo…
3.” She’s Killed Six Plants”
This is the girl that, throughout college, would go out, buy a weed to” liven up the area” and, within three weeks, would shed said embed in the litter without a word. Why? Because after four to five days of diligent spraying she kind of forgot about it and focused all her vigour on where she was buying her gras and, also, where her gold sequin shirt could possibly be.
I’m not saying she hasn’t grown up. Clearly, her ability to keep a bird-dog AND cat alive proves she has graduated up on the living things ladder. But, damn. The stakes are high. I would be a nervous wreck for nine continuous months. She’s a stronger person than I.
4.” I Guess Someone Had To Be First”
I planned, I get it. She’s married, exactly turned 30, and she’s been going crazy every time she sees a baby on the metro. I should have known this was coming someday.* Mulls back* peculiarly since she always talked about wanting to start a family before 35. But I wanted us to make so many more girlfriends’ journeys !! Why can’t we all stay 20 forever?
5.” At Least I Can Babysit”
Look, I’ll probably have kids myself at some time, but, as of right now, I’m enjoying Doritos breakfasts, passing out with makeup on, and being greedy. But this conveys I get the best of both worlds. Simply call me Hannah Montana! I make, newborns are charming, and they’re even cuter when I can give them back to their rightful parents at the end of the day. I’d unquestionably babysit. Wait, would she paid in full?
6.” Now We Can Eat Like Sh* t Together”
If there’s any bright side to this, I think this is it. Thank God. I’ve only heard about how bad pregnancy thirsts are since birth, and I am volunteering as tribute to be my friend’s personal thirst consultant. Her husband be damned! I will totally be down to eat ice cream and soups at 2am. I have literally been qualifying my entirety life for this moment.
Of course it’s natural to be a little scared when your friend tells you she’s pregnant. It’s going to represent a lot of changes. But not all of them are bad! Your friend is likely thrilled, which is the most important thing, so obviously the number one thing you’ll feel is happy for her. And, on the bright side, soon you’ll have an adorable little babe to post on your Instagram play games with, without having to experience morning sickness!
Images: Dakota Corbin, Unsplash; Giphy( 6)